THE FUCKERY GOVERNMENTAL™

Because the government is fucking mental.

IN ABSURDITY WE TRUST.

  • Welcome to the governing body of the bullshit you never voted for.

  • You are already a citizen.

    You didn't apply. You weren't consulted. 

  • And nobody remembers authorizing half the shit you're apparently responsible for.

    Nevertheless, here we fucking are.

  • The Fuckery Governmental™ exists to document, classify, and adjudicate the absurdities humans impose upon one another.

  • From uncommunicated expectations to unauthorized obligations, we make the bullshit official.

WHAT THE FUCK DO WE GOVERN?

The Fuckery. Obviously.

The invisible contracts. The responsibilities nobody assigned but everybody expects you to fulfill. The authority people exercise without accepting the consequences.

Somebody assumed. Somebody delegated. Somebody decided it was your problem.

And somehow, nobody thought to tell you.

We have departments for that shit.

THE DEPARTMENTS OF HUMAN FUCKERY

  • BOUNDARIES WITHOUT BORDERS™

    Department of Personal Sovereignty

    Your emergency does not annex my afternoon.

    Official recognition that other people's priorities do not automatically become your obligations.

  • YOU'RE BILLED RIGHTS™

    Bureau of Obligation Accounting

    Who benefits? Who pays? And who the fuck authorized the charge?

    Investigating the fine print of expectations, obligations, and responsibilities that somehow landed on your desk.

  • UNCIVIL RIGHTS™

    Office of Uncommunicated Expectations

    You cannot violate an agreement nobody bothered to communicate.

    For the assumptions, unwritten rules, and imaginary conversations people insist you should have known about.

  • ROW VS WAIT™

    Judicial Precedent Division

    Because some arguments deserve a ruling, not another exhausting fucking discussion.

    Examining the precedents humans invent, inherit, and invoke when convenient.

THE SUPREME COURT JESTER™

  • THE COURT HAS HEARD ENOUGH SHIT.™

    Welcome to the highest court of everyday human absurdity.

    Here, landmark cases are heard, ridiculous expectations are examined, and the bullshit is entered into the official record.

  • SHOULDA v. KNOWN™

    You cannot be held accountable for a conversation someone only had in their fucking head.

    Explore the rulings. Consider the evidence. Recognize the offense.

    The Court has heard enough shit.™

OFFICIAL GOVERNMENTAL DOCUMENTS

  • Your bullshit. Now on the record.

    Some experiences deserve more than an eye roll.

    They deserve a certificate, a notice, a formal ruling, or a beautifully authoritative declaration that somebody has exceeded the limits of reasonable human expectations.

  • CERTIFICATE OF NON-OBLIGATION™

    Official acknowledgment that not everything is your fucking responsibility.

  • NOTICE OF UNCOMMUNICATED EXPECTATIONS™

    For obligations that existed exclusively inside somebody else's head.

  • AUTHORITY RETAINED. RESPONSIBILITY TRANSFERRED.™

    An official record of that remarkable arrangement in which someone keeps the power and hands you the consequences.
EXPLORE OFFICIAL DOCUMENTS →

GOVERNMENT-ISSUED FUCKERY

Wear it. Display it. Drink your coffee out of it.

The Fuckery Governmental™ issues mugs, apparel, prints, and other official-looking artifacts for citizens who have already endured more than their fair share of bullshit.

Not because you need permission to establish boundaries.

Because sometimes a beautifully designed declaration says it better.

CITIZENSHIP IS AUTOMATIC.

You were born into The Fuckery.

You have encountered its rules, navigated its institutions, paid its invisible taxes, and endured its astonishing administrative incompetence.

The Fuckery Governmental™ does not grant citizenship.

It simply acknowledges the jurisdiction.

No application required. No oath necessary. No fucking opt-out form available.

IN ABSURDITY WE TRUST.

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