{"title":"The Fuckery Governmental","description":null,"products":[{"product_id":"official-citizen-of-the-fuckery™-governmental-seal-coffee-mug","title":"Official Citizen of The Fuckery™ | Governmental Seal Coffee Mug","description":"OFFICIAL CITIZEN OF THE FUCKERY\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nYou didn't apply. You weren't consulted. You're already a citizen.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nCongratulations. Your citizenship in The Fuckery Governmental™ has been acknowledged.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nNo application was submitted. No consent was obtained. No opt-out is available.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nBut at least you can have coffee.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nFeaturing the official lantern-and-laurel seal of The Fuckery Governmental™, this ceramic mug brings a little institutional dignity to the daily administrative catastrophe of being human.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThe rich oxblood, antique-gold, and parchment-inspired seal looks appropriately governmental—until somebody notices exactly which government you're representing.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nPerfect for:\u003cbr\u003e\n- Morning briefings on the latest human bullshit.\u003cbr\u003e\n- Offices where the bureaucracy is the problem.\u003cbr\u003e\n- Coffee drinkers who never consented to any of this.\u003cbr\u003e\n- Proud, reluctant, and thoroughly involuntary citizens of The Fuckery.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nProduct details\u003cbr\u003e\n- White ceramic mug\u003cbr\u003e\n- Official Governmental lantern seal\u003cbr\u003e\n- Available in three sizes\u003cbr\u003e\n- Printed on demand\u003cbr\u003e\n- A fine vessel for coffee, tea, and bureaucratic disillusionment\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nTHE FUCKERY GOVERNMENTAL™\u003cbr\u003e\nBecause the government is fucking mental.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nIN ABSURDITY WE TRUST.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nOfficial-looking merchandise from a completely fictional government. Citizenship is satirical. The coffee is real.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• Ceramic\u003cbr\u003e\n• 11 oz mug dimensions: 3.8″ (9.6 cm) in height, 3.2″ (8.2 cm) in diameter\u003cbr\u003e\n• 15 oz mug dimensions: 4.7″ (11.9 cm) in height, 3.3″ (8.5 cm) in diameter\u003cbr\u003e\n• 20 oz mug dimensions: 4.3″ (10.9 cm) in height, 3.7″ (9.3 cm) in diameter\u003cbr\u003e\n• Dishwasher and microwave safe\u003cbr\u003e\n• Blank product sourced from China\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!","brand":"The Atlas Scribe","offers":[{"title":"11 oz","offer_id":67723900420141,"sku":"7613958_1320","price":16.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15 oz","offer_id":67723900452909,"sku":"7613958_4830","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"20 oz","offer_id":67723900485677,"sku":"7613958_16586","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0601\/8469\/0733\/files\/white-glossy-mug-white-20-oz-front-view-6adbc4e300584.jpg?v=1792787715"},{"product_id":"not-my-fucking-department-™-the-fuckery-governmental™-ruled-line-spiral-notebook","title":"Not My Fucking Department.™ | The Fuckery Governmental™ Ruled Line Spiral Notebook","description":"NOT MY FUCKING DEPARTMENT.™\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nFor taking notes on problems that are absolutely not yours to solve.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nSomebody else's emergency. Somebody else's responsibility. Somehow, your fucking notebook.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nIssued by The Fuckery Governmental™, this spiral notebook features the official lantern-and-laurel seal above a declaration every overworked, overcommitted, and involuntarily helpful human deserves to make:\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nNOT MY FUCKING DEPARTMENT.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nPerfect for meeting notes, brilliant ideas, personal boundaries, and documenting the bullshit before someone tries to assign it to you.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nAn excellent gift for coworkers, managers, freelancers, and anyone who's ever been handed a problem simply because they looked competent.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nTHE FUCKERY GOVERNMENTAL™ \u003cbr\u003e\nBecause the government is fucking mental.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nIN ABSURDITY WE TRUST.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nOfficial-looking stationery from a completely fictional government. No additional responsibilities included.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• 118 ruled line pages (59 sheets)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Front cover print\u003cbr\u003e\n• Dark grey back cover\u003cbr\u003e\n• Metal spiral binding\u003cbr\u003e\n• One size: 6\" x 8\" (15.2 x 20.3 cm)\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nAge restrictions: For adults\u003cbr\u003e\nEU Warranty: 2 years\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nIn compliance with the General Product Safety Regulation (GPSR), \u003cb\u003eThe Atlas Scribe\u003c\/b\u003e and \u003cb\u003eSINDEN VENTURES LIMITED\u003c\/b\u003e ensure that all consumer products offered are safe and meet EU standards. For any product safety related inquiries or concerns, please contact our EU representative at \u003cb\u003egpsr@sindenventures.com\u003c\/b\u003e. You can also write to us at \u003cb\u003esee EU representative information\u003c\/b\u003e or\u003cb\u003e Markou Evgenikou 11, Mesa Geitonia, 4002, Limassol, Cyprus.\u003cb\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e","brand":"The Atlas Scribe","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":67723903500333,"sku":"6661572_24305","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0601\/8469\/0733\/files\/ruled-line-spiral-notebook-one-size-front-6adbc6f84253e.jpg?v=1792788230"},{"product_id":"the-fuckery-governmental™-2027-official-calendar","title":"The Fuckery Governmental™ | 2027 Official Calendar","description":"365 Days. Same Bullshit. Different Excuses.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nCongratulations. You've survived another year of human fuckery.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nUnfortunately, the government has scheduled twelve more months.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nIntroducing the 2027 Official Calendar of The Fuckery Governmental™ — a gloriously irreverent, illustrated journey through bureaucracy, questionable decisions, delayed accountability, and the extraordinary human ability to make absolutely everything more complicated than necessary.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nFrom January's optimistic resolutions to December's festive administrative collapse, every month delivers a fresh dose of governmental absurdity, complete with the official seal, seasonal satire, and enough bullshit to last the entire year.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nOfficial Features:\u003cbr\u003e\n- January–December 2027 calendar\u003cbr\u003e\n- Twelve original, seasonally themed satirical illustrations\u003cbr\u003e\n- The official Fuckery Governmental™ seal\u003cbr\u003e\n- Full-color artwork featuring governmental dysfunction at its finest\u003cbr\u003e\n- Spiral-bound wall calendar format\u003cbr\u003e\n- A perfectly inappropriate gift for coworkers, friends, and anyone who's ever survived a meeting that should have been an email\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nOfficial Governmental Notice:\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nPurchasing this calendar does not exempt you from the fuckery.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nYou were already a citizen.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nTHE FUCKERY GOVERNMENTAL™\u003cbr\u003e\nBecause the government is fucking mental.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nIN ABSURDITY WE TRUST.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n· One size: 10.8″ × 8.4″ (27.4 × 21.3 cm)\u003cbr\u003e\n· Printed on thick 270 gsm paper with a semi-gloss finish\u003cbr\u003e\n· Monthly date grids for easy planning\u003cbr\u003e\n· Large artwork featured on every page\u003cbr\u003e\n· 3\/8″ silver wire binding for smooth page turning\u003cbr\u003e\n· Centered hanging hole for easy wall display\u003cbr\u003e\n· Holidays are not marked\u003cbr\u003e\n· Blank product sourced from the US\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nAge restrictions: For adults\u003cbr\u003e\nEU Warranty: 2 years\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nIn compliance with the General Product Safety Regulation (GPSR), \u003cb\u003eThe Atlas Scribe\u003c\/b\u003e and \u003cb\u003eSINDEN VENTURES LIMITED\u003c\/b\u003e ensure that all consumer products offered are safe and meet EU standards. For any product safety related inquiries or concerns, please contact our EU representative at \u003cb\u003egpsr@sindenventures.com\u003c\/b\u003e. You can also write to us at \u003cb\u003esee EU representative information\u003c\/b\u003e or\u003cb\u003e Markou Evgenikou 11, Mesa Geitonia, 4002, Limassol, Cyprus.\u003cb\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e","brand":"The Atlas Scribe","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":67724179636269,"sku":"9200904_52390","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0601\/8469\/0733\/files\/calendar-_2027_-10.8x8.4-front-6adbd344c6905.jpg?v=1792791568"}],"url":"https:\/\/theatlasscribe.com\/collections\/the-fuckery-governmental.oembed","provider":"The Atlas Scribe","version":"1.0","type":"link"}